Good day to you, members of the Confitdent Brotherhood! I have brought you here so you and I could have a much-needed man to man talk, we have a delicate but much-needed discussion to have about courting women.
It is often seen as the ultimate symbol of male machismo as well as superiority to gather notches on the belt and to boast a plethora of female conquests in the bedroom. Some of you maybe the sort of red-blooded male you have dreamt of or actively pursued this kind of glory. Your results may have ranged from not getting out of the starting blocks due to insecurities and fear to manwhoredom or possibly the heady heights of being the Casanova of your postal district.
For those who don’t know, there are those who have decided to take seduction to a level of ninja like precision by learning patterns, routines and formulas designed for the soul purpose of attracting and seducing women – these men are known as Pick up artists. A whole community has grown from a handful of pioneers in this field and now there are countless books, videos, courses, and seminars on this subject all over the world – if you want to know more about this subject then the world-wide web can certainly help you with this, we are going to suggest an alternative approach to courting women. This will not cost you money– everything you need is right here on Confitdent.com.
Courting Women with Class
So first of all, you are probably wondering why we would suggest an alternative to the PUA approach, after all, those guys can go out in broad daylight for a coffee and a trip to a bookstore and come back with a girls phone number (while wearing a loud Hawaiian shirt and sweat pants if they want to), right?
Well that is the case with the successful purveyors of this practice anyways, fair play to them and a pat on the back for breaking the self-created chains many of us have that often hold men back from even talking to a woman they find attractive due to the fear of crushing rejection. For that reason, PUA’s deserve their props whether you agree with the methods or not.
Be the Knight, Not the Jester
My sticking point from the research I have made over many years on the subject of pick up artistry is that the changes that are made to oneself in order to put the would be PUA into a position of courting women are made on the surface and as such do not go to the very core of who the person is, almost like wearing a mask or employing smoke and mirrors. They feel the need to create a persona or use rehearsed material to court women, in my opinion that contradicts one of the snappiest pieces logic from our creed here at Confitdent, where we urge always “to be the knight, not the jester”. In the traditional sense – a jester will do tricks and entertain and put on an act for the court while wearing an over the top outfit, there could be parallels drawn between this and some PUA’s! So who is the Knight? The Knight is the defender of the faith who puts himself on the line for the court, he is chivalrous and a tower of strength and he is clothed in a majestically beaten metal that reflects function over any garish Jester outfit – the maidens want to be with him and the squires want to be him. It is the Knight who is the hero. We would put it to you that the modern Confitdent gentleman is the Knight. We are looking for the things that will make us truly confident to the core with no need to wear a mask because we are the real deal and genuine to boot – did we mention this will make you naturally more attractive as well? Let’s go a bit deeper…
Your Attitude Towards Yourself
Here is a fact that often escapes a great many people: You are the product of countless years of honing by life. If you trace your ancestry back through time for a second you may notice that your direct line of ancestors all successfully bred and passed their genes down to you. They survived a wide range of challenges from wars to famines and beyond long enough to find someone to have a baby with and keep the line going. You have real warriors in your family tree somewhere down the line, maybe even Knights!
Remind yourself often: It is in your nature to thrive.
With that in mind, now think about the things you have rode out and survived in your lifetime both of an emotional or physical nature – whether it is heartache or injury. You have done pretty well really haven’t you? You are meant live well, thrive, and uncork your potential.
It is this sort of thinking that can start to lay the foundations to a better you, and being the best you that you can be will put you in an unparalleled position when it comes meeting new people – especially women. Imagine yourself at the height of your powers, supremely confident and unshakable in your belief in yourself and your abilities but with one foot down to earth keeping you honest because you remember how far you had to come to get to the top of the mountain. That is you at your best.
There are many ways you can reach the top of the food chain and it is through hard work that your character is forged. If you are trying to optimize your fitness or craft a body that is a reflection of your top biological potential, this path takes much discipline. The rewards are high from this lifestyle though as it makes you more in tune with yourself and has you taking pride in how you live, treating yourself with greater respect – not to mention the aesthetics that come with it. If you can master your body, then you can master you mind and consequently be strong inside and out. Getting fit will bring you confidence. Try training like Tom Hardy, Ryan Reynolds, Henry Cavill or Sly Stallone for 3 months, put yourself through the mill and look at the results you get. You will surprise yourself with what you can achieve.
An analogy is needed to drive this point home I feel. Naturally nurtured confidence as opposed to when you try to learn behaviors that portray confidence is kind of like the difference between a man in a battle tank and Wolverine. The man in the tank is within the safe confines of a vehicle, owning the battle field for a time– but eventually this vehicle will run out of fuel and ammo and the man will be vulnerable. Wolverine is armored from the inside and because of it he is deadly as well as indestructible. In this analogy the PUA is represented by the Battle tank driver. He is surrounded with a persona that he wears like a suit of armor and is armed with material and routines with which to court, but when his armor is penetrated and his ammo has run out he is vulnerable. The Confitdent modern man in the analogy is represented by Wolverine. His armor clad skeleton and the adamantine claws stand as a metaphor for what makes this man attractive. Both are very much a part of him and were not easily bought.
Confitdent Creed: Your Appearance
They say that clothes make the man, in some ways I am inclined to agree to a certain extent but I prefer to put it the other way round – the man makes the clothes. Think of any masterpiece painting hung in a gallery for the world to marvel at and enjoy, the majority of them have a good solid frame – something to clothe the said masterpiece and protect it but also to not take the attention away from the artist’s work. In the grand scheme of things, you are the work of art and clothes are your frame.
With all this in mind, if you are a man who has come far on his own journey and suffered the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune and challenged and improved yourself in the process then congratulations, my friend – you are a masterpiece. So it would be wise to have the confidence to clothe yourself as one, so bear in mind the classy form and understated carvings of a well-made frame.
For inspiration on how a Confitdent man dresses, look no further than my esteemed colleague Alfred’s article featuring a great piece of advice from Mike Simone on what to wear, it fits our picture frame analogy – it is all about the right t-shirt.
Also, Look at the cover of a film like to Ocean’s Eleven or any of the Bond films starring Daniel Craig. A great suit in a good fit will raise your stock in the attraction states tenfold, just make sure you wear it for the right occasion because no one in their right mind would bring a rocket launcher to a turkey shoot. Whatever the occasion, you can always get away with being well-groomed though – regardless of what you are wearing. The right hairstyle and keeping clean says that you take pride in yourself, and well-kept facial hair can help you look refined and rugged.
I have to give credit where credit is due, there are some very well dressed PUA’s out there. Kudos to these men, But let me enlighten you for a second to the flipside of that, to a technique used in PUA circles known as ‘Peacocking’.
Peacocking is the art of wearing a loud or garish ensemble or an eye-catching accessory either to be used as a talking point to open an interaction with a member of the opposite ***, or that can be playfully given to said member of opposite to wear during the interaction in order to ‘anchor’ them or keep them within the vicinity of the PUA. This accessory could be anything from a brightly colored scarf or costume jewelry to a faux fur top hat or outrageous sunglasses, whatever the prop – this is not the dominion of the modern Confitdent gentleman.
Cast your mind back to the introduction to this piece and the mantra of “Be the knight, not the jester”. You may remember me mentioning the “Garish jesters outfit”, that was actually a subtle hint at peacocking.
Your Attitude Towards Women
We are getting down to the nitty-gritty now. You have embarked on a journey to build a better you inside and out and consequently are stronger because of this. You have a framed yourself well in the garments that reflect your self-assured side and exudes confidence through class rather than being brash.With these two cornerstones in place you have never been more attractive and have great potential when courting women, as long as you have nurtured a healthy attitude towards women in general.
We have all heard a girl say “all men are jerks” or something similar, we don’t want to be tarred with the same brush as those members of our *** who let the side down from time to time. You are going to need to be empathetic and use that like a navigator uses the stars in order to bring your own moral compass into alignment. I will not insult your intelligence by telling you what is right or wrong – if you need help calibrating your conscience then imagine Capt. Steve Rogers is the voice in your head and trying to keep you honest.
When it comes to courting women it is best to keep a level playing field when it comes to attitude. There will be some who do not have enough respect when it comes to fellow humans of the female persuasion. They might regard women as the weaker *** or something to be conquered; both are negative thought processes that are destructive and disrespectful. Your *** does not give you any superiority over anyone and regardless of being male or female a person has that ancient warrior survive and thrive gene hardwired into them, and anybody can unleash their potential through diligent self-improvement. Plus, I am not ashamed to say that I know a few women who can squat heavier than both you and I, so that weaker *** thing does not fly with me. As for the idea of conquering someone or labeling a successful interaction as a potential conquest, that is not cool.
If you have the right attitude to yourself and have ironclad yourself with natural confidence then the inevitable occasional rejection is going to be something you can shrug off or even laugh about. At the end of the day, it is not going to hurt you really. Don’t be intimidated – fortune favours the brave and a faint heart never won a fair lady.
To say that all PUAs have the same attitude towards women would be unfair; it is a sweeping generalization that I won’t be making. Some guys take up this art form because they want to meet that one special person and do not know how. Other chaps may have been in a long-term relationship for much of their life only to find themselves single again at some point and with no idea how to get back out there and meet people. These and other potential scenarios are all fairly noble in their intention and so should not be looked upon as critical. Unfortunately, there are less noble purveyors of the pick-up trade out there who use their skills in more selfish and nefarious ways too.
The Confitdent Creed
Through this article we have looked at the holy trinity of core values that in our humble opinion define a modern gentleman and knight. As you may be able to see there is quite a contrast. Genuinely improving oneself right down to the bones is the key to manifesting into being this sort of man. You have the potential to do great things and achieve all sorts of goals that will enrich your life and develop you into a fine character -as well as possibly a fine body. The sum of all that is a confidence so deep-rooted that once you have it, smoke and mirrors are not even in the same league, but it can’t be learned or rehearsed – only earned.