Keep Quiet: When to Speak Less and Listen More

If you’re just starting a relationship, it’s not appropriate to reveal too much information about yourself. Even if you’re trying to charm her, be very discreet when divulging anything about your past. You still don’t know her very well and you still don’t know if the relationship will blossom, so try to keep quiet about yourself.

In the same way, you don’t want your date to reveal too much about herself because it’s a presumption that the relationship will go into something deeper. You only discuss very personal and intimate issues with a person whom you are very close with. It’s true that honesty is the best policy, but you have to follow certain etiquette when it comes to being too honest with your date. In any social situation, you only reveal more about yourself after you’ve gained the trust of the other person.

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First Date

Keep quiet on the first date. By keeping quiet, we don’t mean your date does all of the talking. By keeping quiet, we mean to only talk about general social issues. The goal on the first date is to show her that you have the charisma and you can make her fall for you. It means that you can talk about your hobbies, your work, what you enjoy doing on weekends, but you cannot talk to her about your past relationships, your medical conditions, the amount of money you have in the bank, etc.

Keep quiet on issues about religion. Religious belief is something very personal and you only discuss that with someone close to you. Moreover, avoid talking about politics because you might be wearing a different political color and it could only lead to friction on the first date.

When To Be More Open

Once you get to know her better and the relationship is starting to get serious, you don’t have to keep quiet anymore on certain sensitive issues. You can start divulging more about yourself on the fifth date. This is because both of you need to start talking about what your short-term plans are.

You don’t need to talk about marriage, but you can start telling her why your past relationships didn’t work, your career goals, and so much more. You can even start talking about your health issues. On the fifth date, the two of you have more or less established a certain degree of closeness, so she may be interested to know what your aches and pains are.

It’s exciting to know someone new. However, always practice caution when talking about yourself. It’s always safe to keep quiet on the first few dates because you’re still not sure if you want to begin a more serious relationship with her. Try to reveal more about you little by little. In that way, you can appear mysterious and she may get even more interested in you.