You guys give a pretty good effort, you really do. But sometimes you’re overthinking the whole opening segment with a woman where a simple “Hi I’m so-and-so” would do the trick. Someone has been doling out a lot of bad advice because girl’s see the same lame pick up attempts over and over again. Here are some reasons why your pick up lines aren’t working.
You’re Putting Her Down
Clearly someone has told you that putting woman down via mild to intense insult is an effective way to engage women in conversation, but any woman who is remotely intelligent is going to know what you’re up to and think it’s lame. Pulling our hair on the playground hardly worked in elementary school, so shape up. The idea behind this concept is to throw off the women and make them feel insecure so that they will seek back validation after being insulted. Gross. No one should have to explain why this generally will fail miserably, but some research has actually been done on it…and it doesn’t work at all unless the woman hates other women and you’re both misogynists. Delightful.
You’re Missing the Whole Point
Yeah in theory it can be charming to have someone walk up to us and express their interest, but it should feel authentic and that requires you being yourself, not playing the role of hit-on guy. Talk to us like you would talk to any other human that you’re interested in, not like you’re trying to put a spell on us to make us fall into your bed. A lot of perfectly nice guys come off as super creepy trying to make a move because it just looks plain unnatural.
You’re Not Going After Anyone Specific
If you walk up to a group of girls and attempt to throw them all a line at once you better hope you’re the coolest guy around. It’s not appealing to be sought after as one of many options, girls like to feel special. That doesn’t mean you shouldn’t go up to a group of girls and talk to them, you absolutely should do that. Just be your normal friendly self until you figure out which one actually strikes your interest, (or which one is interested in you), and then put your focus onto her.
You Don’t Seem Confident
Why are you trying to use weird lines to begin with? Because you’re not confident enough that you’ll impress us with your own thoughts? Because that’s how it feels whether it’s true or not. It’s just an added thing for us to wonder about, like why a guy might be wearing a beanie at a pool or something. That being said, if you aren’t the most outgoing guy around, that’s okay too. We’d rather see that though than see you trying to pretend to be someone else who you think is more impressive. There’s nothing wrong with being shy, some girls even like that. Just do you.
i always use this line and rarely it doesnt work its like this for example; I see a beautiful on the bus stop but she has green eyes so i get slowly closer to her and i say this “I wanna ask you something serious”, Her:”What?”,”why your are are so beatiful?” then she laughs and she gives me a answer at the end i just have fun a got her number but…i have another problem..i never date a woman in my life my teenage years was horrible but that its in the past now i am in shape and confident but i dont know what to do after she gaves me her number because i dont know how to organize “Dates” and the numbers are just there in my phone 🙁 hope you can help me miss Kate n_n thanks
If only I had this kind of advice back in high school (well, even in college too), I would have had successful relationships. You’re actually right, Kate. The harder I tried to fine tune my pick-up lines, the creepier I was perceived by girls, and then I tried to play it simple and start out conversations with no intentions of getting the girl, just be friendly and make friends. That was actually the fun part because most of my girlfriends were my close friends and we did school projects and attended study groups. Soon our personalities were revealed and we found out that we liked each other a lot, and then it flourished into a wonderful relationship. I think the best pick-up lines are the honest ones. Thank you Kate for sharing this.